Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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