i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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