whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How does it feel to date your dad?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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