he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
