i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Will exercising make me less horny?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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