Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize