the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
