Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
