ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
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