I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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