There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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