threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
