"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
