I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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