Soap is not a condiment
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
