that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
