Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
