one two three fourrrrnication!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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