I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We got so high we made milksteak
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
