But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
