i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
