i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just high enough for therapy.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
