We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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