yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
