I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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