Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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