You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
