either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
