All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
