In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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