did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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