she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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