This girl is more easily done than said...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
