I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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