were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize