So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
