batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
