Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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