Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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