In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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