Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
