Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You work out of a Hotel?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
