Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
