that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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