Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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