sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
