He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize