So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
