College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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