I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
sarcasm needs its own font
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
