They should really pass out barf bags in church
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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