she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Randomize
