Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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