Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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