I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize