Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
