Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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