a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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