i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
