Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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