sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize