It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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