Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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