He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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