I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
