i love accidental penises.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my shit smells like andre
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
