I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
